Etiquette rules for Tory Conference

Dress-code: smart/casual.

The following rules must be adhered to by all gentlemen at all times:

1. There must be no touching of the dancers at any time.
2. You must not proposition dancers.
3. You must be seated and remain seated.
4. You must remain fully clothed and not attempt to dance with the girls.
5. Unruly and unacceptable behaviour will not be tolerated.
6. No illegal substances are to be consumed on the premises.

You’re either wondering what the jack shit I’m talking about, or you’re already giggling about the fact that with the official documentation sent out to Tory conference delegates, they will have received a flyer offering discounted entry to the Rocket Club, ‘Birmingham’s exclusive gentlemen’s entertainment venue’. Oh, how I have laughed. They can pretend to be green. They can pretend to care about people. But somehow they never manage to cover up being a party of misogynist dinosaurs.

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2 thoughts on “Etiquette rules for Tory Conference

  1. Of course, if you had actually bothered to read the article you’d know that it is not “official documentation” but part of a multi-page offers booklet put together by Marketing Birmingham – don’t let the facts get in the way of a good rant though!

    Also, I’m sure that absolutely no Labour delegates will frequent Manchester’s lapdancing bars next week. None whatsoever. No sirree.

  2. Good point. I have edited my wording to make it clear that the flyers were sent *with* the official documentation. And that there is no ‘Stare at naked ladies’ item on the conference agenda, in between ‘Plan downfall of society’ and ‘Poison reservoir’.

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